Sorry For The Long Post, Here’s A Potato

I’m sure we have all seen a post with a potato but we have never questioned why. After some digging around I found the truth. Let me tell you the ancient tale of the potato. It goes something like this:

In ancient times, in the time where Gods freely roamed the world, there was a heathen God known as Saurifor Norison. He loved every aspect of life and was particularly fond of what are now known as potatoes. Out of love for potatoes, he regularly commanded the humans to perform PotatShar. He was greatly loved by the humans who regularly gave him potatoes as tokens of their appreciation. In their native tongue, Vegetablis, the humans often said “Saurifor, Dalon Posh!” (which roughly translates as “Saurifor, Praise Be To You”) after which they would shower him with potatoes.

The other Gods were jealous of Saurifor’s standing with the humans and came up with an ingenious ploy. They erased any memory of Saurifor from every human mind and, for good measure, forever cursed Saurifor, turning him into a potato (since it is impossible to kill a God).

However, the humans never truly forgot about Saurifor and to this day, they commit the rituals which he taught them, without truly knowing why. By tapping into the human subconscious, I was able to discover the truth behind this most sacred of rituals. As the humans evolved, so did the ancient language of Vegetablis. “Saurifor, Dalon Posh” became known as “Sorry for the long post” after which humans now post a picture of a potato to commemorate the fallen God. “Norison” became “No Reason” and to this day, we still perform the ancient art of PotatShar where we share potatoes for Saurifor Norison (to save time, people just refer to the God’s last name).

I hope you now understand the importance of the potato. Legend has it that all potatoes are a part of the great God and that if we ever stop sharing or offering potatoes, his fury and wrath will be unleashed upon the world.

So for the love of God, SHARE THIS POTATO FOR NO REASON.

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