You’ll need 2 things:
- Liposuction Clinics (owned by the Government)
- McDonald’s Restaurants
You can probably guess where I’m going with this…
- Get fat people into the Liposuction Clinics. *OBESITY PROBLEM = SOLVED.*
- McDonald’s uses all the vats of fat to make their burgers (theoretically possible to make a burger out of fat and a tiny bit of meat)
- McDonald’s gives said burgers to people dying of hunger (very important that they’re dying of hunger as seen in step 6).
- These people are no longer hungry. *WORLD HUNGER = SOLVED.*
- These people will live happily for a while.
- Then they’ll probably die of heart-attacks (but at least they won’t die of hunger) *OVER-POPULATION = SOLVED.*
- America no longer needs to go hunting for oil since they now have tonnes of fat at home. *WAR = SOLVED*
- Cars will now run on fat so we don’t use precious fossil fuels. *FOSSIL FUELS PROBLEM = SOLVED.*
Consider it as a sort of human recycling. Instead of whining about your weight, you can donate your fat to people who need it more. It is your duty as a fat person. It’s like when you go to the barber to donate your hair to charity; you feel so much better about yourself and so do the people to whom you donated it.
It’s a win-win-win-win-win-win-win situation. Fat people get thinner and hungry people get fed. McDonald’s makes money and also creates a better image for itself. Liposuction Clinics (which are owned by the Government) will generate tax revenue which the Government can use to fix their own economy. No more war. No more wasting precious fossil fuels.
Never underestimate fat people; they are immensely valuable resources. The only problem now is the fight to get the most fat people. Sadly, America seems to have a massive head start…
In conclusion, based on the above arguments, I clearly have too much free time on my hands.