What A Strange Morning

This morning was strange.

I go to drop my sister off at school, in my sleep-deprived, mentally-vacant state. I have bags under my bloodshot eyes and an absolutely atrocious headache. What makes it worse is that the stupid sun is trying to blind me at every chance it gets, forcing me to squint and frown whenever a ray of sunlight hits my face (which is every 7 seconds and yes, I keep track).

On top of all this, some little kid has the audacity to come up to me and tell me that my ‘costume’ is “so dope” but my dress-sense is “twisted” (not sure if that’s a compliment or an insult).

Then, as if talking to a 5 year-old, he’s kind enough to remind me that Halloween is “next week, brah”, and I need to “check up them dates on da calendar”. He says all this while gesticulating frantically, as if suffering from some sort of severe spasm attack.

As if that’s not enough, the prat starts guffawing at his own remark, presumably amazed (like I was) at his ability to put more than two words together to make a sentence. Then he turns around and promptly walks into a lampost.

Apparently embarrassed at “losing his swag”, he gets up, angrily shouts “Watch it, yo! Next time ain’t gon’ be this easy, aight?” at said lampost, and gives it a tremendous push. His push does absolutely nothing other than push himself further away from the lampost, so he gives up and just runs away.

I’m still confused.